What not to say during sex.

1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (In a janitor’s closet) And they say romance is dead…
6. Try breathing through your nose.
7. A little rug burn never hurt anyone!
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out.
11. Your mother’s better than you.
12. Say, for the last time, what’s your name again?
13. I haven’t done this with an actual human before.
14. So, how much is this gonna cost?
15. Do you take Visa?