Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following

question:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your

wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife

comes around the corner, locks eyes with you,

screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife,

and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do

you do?

………………………………………………..

Democrat’s Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

What does the law say about this situation?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway,

and what kind of message does

this send to society and to my children?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be

content just to wound me?

Should I call 9-1-1 ?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day

and make this happier, healthier street that would

discourage such behavior.

………………………………………………..

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

………………………………………………….

Southerner’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click….. (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the

Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Son: Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: You Ain’t Taking That To The Taxidermist!

Politics Jokes

Comments

Q: Why were the British fighting us in the war of 1812?

A: Because they were done beating up the French, and they needed someone new to pick on.

#Politics Jokes

At the 1980 Olympics, Brezhnev begins his speech. "O!" - applause. "O!" - more applause. "O!" - yet more applause. "O!" - an ovation. "O!!!" - the whole audience stands up and applauds. An aide comes running to the podium and whispers, "Leonid Ilyich, that’s the Olympic rings, you don’t need to read it!"

#Politics Jokes

When Yeltsin resigned from the Communist Party at the 28th Party Congress, people used to say that "Yeltsin is out of mind,… honour, and conscience of our epoch". (A hint at a widespread propaganda slogan: "Party is Mind, Honour and Conscience of our Epoch")

#Politics Jokes

When is a pencil not a pencil? When it’s on a Pentagon shopping list - then it’s a "portable hand-held communications inscriber", says a Republican senator.

#Politics Jokes

It is amazing how politicians can fit all their good points in a 30 second TV commercial.

#Politics Jokes

The European union has decided the only way to avoid Greece defaulting on its debts is to replace the government and civil service with 300 Spartans !

#Politics Jokes

"The fact that the GDR considers itself as one of the 5 technologically most advanced power of the nations may be be given to the fact that there are only 5 fingers on a hand. " University lecture in Hungary in the 70s

#Politics Jokes

Dubya Quotes

"If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure."

…George W. Bush

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."

…Governor George W. Bush

"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."

…Governor George W. Bush

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit…Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."

…Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century."

…Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy – but that could change."

…Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’."

…Governor George W. Bush, 12/6/93

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

…Governor George W. Bush, 11/30/96

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

…Governor George W. Bush

"The future will be better tomorrow."

…Governor George W. Bush

"We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world."

…Governor George W. Bush 9/21/97

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."

…Governor George W. Bush

"I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made."

…Governor George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

…Governor George W. Bush

"Public speaking is very easy."

…Governor George W. Bush to reporters

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."

…Governor George W. Bush

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

…Governor George W. Bush

"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."

…George W. Bush

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."

…Governor George W. Bush 5/20/96

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

…Governor George W. Bush 9/22/97

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

…Governor George W. Bush, 9/5/93

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

…Governor George W. Bush , 9/18/95

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."

…Governor George W. Bush

"We’re all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."

…Governor George W. Bush

"It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

…Governor George W. Bush

"[It’s] time for the human race to enter the solar system."

…Governor George W. Bush

#Politics Jokes