At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS president Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:

On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide.

He left a note to that effect, indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

Ordinarily, Dr. Mills continued, "a person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended", is still defined as committing suicide. Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below at street level, but his suicide attempt probably would not have been successful because of the safety net. This caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.

The room on the ninth floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously, and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was his long standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her, therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple’s son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son’s financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.

The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist; further investigation revealed that the son was in fact Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over both the loss of his financial support and the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother’s murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth-story window. The son had actually murdered himself, so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

Politics Jokes

Comments

Q: Why were the British fighting us in the war of 1812?

A: Because they were done beating up the French, and they needed someone new to pick on.

#Politics Jokes

At the 1980 Olympics, Brezhnev begins his speech. "O!" - applause. "O!" - more applause. "O!" - yet more applause. "O!" - an ovation. "O!!!" - the whole audience stands up and applauds. An aide comes running to the podium and whispers, "Leonid Ilyich, that’s the Olympic rings, you don’t need to read it!"

#Politics Jokes

When Yeltsin resigned from the Communist Party at the 28th Party Congress, people used to say that "Yeltsin is out of mind,… honour, and conscience of our epoch". (A hint at a widespread propaganda slogan: "Party is Mind, Honour and Conscience of our Epoch")

#Politics Jokes

When is a pencil not a pencil? When it’s on a Pentagon shopping list - then it’s a "portable hand-held communications inscriber", says a Republican senator.

#Politics Jokes

It is amazing how politicians can fit all their good points in a 30 second TV commercial.

#Politics Jokes

The European union has decided the only way to avoid Greece defaulting on its debts is to replace the government and civil service with 300 Spartans !

#Politics Jokes

"The fact that the GDR considers itself as one of the 5 technologically most advanced power of the nations may be be given to the fact that there are only 5 fingers on a hand. " University lecture in Hungary in the 70s

#Politics Jokes

Dubya Quotes

"If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure."

…George W. Bush

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."

…Governor George W. Bush

"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."

…Governor George W. Bush

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit…Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."

…Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century."

…Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy – but that could change."

…Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’."

…Governor George W. Bush, 12/6/93

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

…Governor George W. Bush, 11/30/96

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

…Governor George W. Bush

"The future will be better tomorrow."

…Governor George W. Bush

"We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world."

…Governor George W. Bush 9/21/97

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."

…Governor George W. Bush

"I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made."

…Governor George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

…Governor George W. Bush

"Public speaking is very easy."

…Governor George W. Bush to reporters

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."

…Governor George W. Bush

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

…Governor George W. Bush

"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."

…George W. Bush

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."

…Governor George W. Bush 5/20/96

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

…Governor George W. Bush 9/22/97

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

…Governor George W. Bush, 9/5/93

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

…Governor George W. Bush , 9/18/95

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."

…Governor George W. Bush

"We’re all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."

…Governor George W. Bush

"It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

…Governor George W. Bush

"[It’s] time for the human race to enter the solar system."

…Governor George W. Bush

#Politics Jokes