Dentist Jokes

Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?

Patient: Why? Doc, it isnt all that bad this time.Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I dont want to miss the 4 oclock ball game.

What does the dentist of the year get?

…A little plaque.

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but dont worry it will take just five minutes.

Patient: And how much will it cost?

Dentist: Its $90.00. Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work? ? ?

Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.

How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

Patient: “It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someones mouth.”

Dentist: “I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.”

Why are you laughing? My dentist just pulled one of my teeth out. I dont see much to laugh about in that. But it was the wrong one!

Monster: Doctor, doctor, Im a blood-sucking monster and I keep needing to eat doctors. Doctor: Oh what a shame. Im a dentist.

What did the werewolf eat after hed had his teeth taken out?

The dentist.

Dentist: “You dont need to open your mouth any wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside.”

Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?

Draculas dentist.

“Did you get your money? " ask the wife of the dentist who had just return from the delinquent patients home.“Not a cent,” growled the dentist, “and worse than that, he insulted me, and gnashed my teeth at me!”

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth.The dentist examines him and says, “that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating? “The man replies, “all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious … Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything — meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything.““Well,” says the dentist, “thats probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. Its eaten away your upper plate. Ill make you a new plate, and this time use chrome.““Why chrome? " asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, “Its simple. Everyone knows that … theres no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!”

Patient: Doc, what should I do with all the gold and silver in my mouth?

Dentist: Dont smile in a bad neighborhood.

Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist?

Because they fought both tooth and nail!

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentists window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

A husband and wife entered the dentists office. The husband said, “I want a tooth pulled. I dont want gas or Novocain because Im in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.““Youre a brave man,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.“The husband turns to his wife and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”

As the judge said to the dentist: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?

Dentist: Dont worry. Im painless.Patient: Im not.

“I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boys tooth.““Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work!““Yes,” replied the dentist, “but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office.”

Im suffering from bad breath You should do something about it!I did. I just sent my wife to the dentist.

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Docor, it wasnt all that bad this time.Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I dont want to miss the four oclock ball game.

A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.

Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?

Dentist: Wear a brown tie!

Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out. After examining him, the dentist said, “Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush? " “Ah sure do!” replied Cloyd. “Everee single day!” “What do you brush with? " asked the dentist, “Preparation H,” said the redneck.

“I came in to make an appointment with the dentist.” said the man to the receptionist.“Im sorry sir.” she replied. “Hes out right now, but…““Thank you,” interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. “When will he be out again ? "

Nigel: You said the school dentist would be painless, but he wasnt.

Teacher: Did he hurt you? Nigel: No, but he screamed when I bit his finger.

Patient: Hey, that tooth you pulled wasnt the one I wanted pulled.

Dentist: Relax, Im coming to it.

Freds mother was on the telephone to the boys dentist. “I dont understand it,” she complained, “I thought his treatment would only cost me $20, but youve charged me $80.” “It is usually $20, maam,” agreed the dentist, “but Fred yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away!”