There were three morticians trading stories in a bar one night.
The first one says, “What a day I had today. The guy wasn’t wearing his seat belt and his head flew into the windshield. Took me all day to make the face look natural.”
Not to be outdone, the second mortician says, “You think that’s bad? I had this guy in who got hit by a train while he was riding his bike. Took me TWO days to put all the pieces back together!”
The third mortician just shook his head. “You guys have it easy,” he said. “I had this female parachutist whose chute didn’t open. She landed on a flagpole and it took me all week just to wipe the smile off her face!”
Sam was on his death bed, and his wife and children were gatheredaround him. Suddenly the aroma of chopped liver filled the room.Sam perked up a bit and said to his wife, “Thats it, one last timebefore I die I must have some of your delicious chopped liver.“Sams wife looked at him sadly and said, “Sorry Sam, its for after.”