During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit afortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room,peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.“Theres no easy way to say this, so Ill just be blunt: Prepareyourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent andhorrible death this year.“Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the womans lined face, then atthe single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took afew deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. Shemet the fortune tellers gaze, steadied her voice, and asked herquestion:“Will I be acquitted? "
Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch.As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton,“Are you ready to order? “Clinton replies, “Yes, Id like a quickie.““A quickie? !? " the waitress replies. “Sir, given the currentsituation of your personal life I dont think that is a good idea.Ill come back when you are ready to order from the menu.“She walks away.Gore leans over to Clinton and says, “Its pronounced Quiche.”
Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, “Bill, I had awonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautifulcountry, and on each house I saw a banner.““What did it say on the banners? " Clinton asks.Saddam replies, “Allah is god, god is Allah.“Clinton says, “You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner.““What could you see on the banners? " Saddam asks.Clinton replies, “I dont know. I cant read Hebrew.”
A bus filled with politicians was driving through thecountryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver,caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control andcrashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash andrushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicianshe buries them.The next day, the police come to the farm to question theman. “So you buried all the politicians? " asked the policeofficer. “Were they all dead? “The farmer answered, “Some said they werent, but youknow how politicians lie.”