Cannibal Jokes

First cannibal: We had burglars last night.

Second cannibal: Did they taste good?

A cannibals dillema: If God didnt want us to eat people, why did he make them out of meat?

Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force?

He said he wanted to grill his suspects.

A cannibal son and his father are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that shes too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman. Again the father refused saying that shes to skinny. After a while the son pointed out a very attractive woman.” sure son” the father replied, drooling. “Well take her home and eat you mother!”

Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncles wife?

He was an aunteater.

First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night?

Second Cannibal: That was no girl, that was my supper.

What happened to the cannibal lion?

He had to swallow his pride.

What does a cannibal eat with cheese?

Pickled organs.

Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide?

He got himself into a real stew.

Two cannibals were having lunch. “Your wife makes a great soup,” said one to the other. “Yes!” agreed the first. “But Im going to miss her terribly.”

Why dont cannibals eat comedians? They taste funny.

Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third mans turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, “To hell with your canoes!”

First cannibal: My wifes a tough old bird.

Second cannibal: You should have left her in the oven for another half an hour.

Q. What did the cannibals wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?

A. The cold shoulder.

What is the cannibals favorite game?

Swallow my Leader.

“Well, children,” said the cannibal cooking teacher.

“What did you make of the new English teacher? "

“Burgers, maam.”

What does a cannibal call a skateboarder?

Meals on wheels.

When do cannibals cook you?

On Fried-days.

Why was the cannibal expelled from school?

Because he kept buttering up the teacher.

A man is captured by cannibals, every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food.Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, “Hey, you can kill me or you can eat me, but Im tired of getting stuck for drinks!”

Cannibal Boy: Ive brought a friend home for dinner.

Cannibal Mom: Put him in the fridge and well have him tomorrow.

Did you hear about the cannibal who went vegetarian?

He couldnt stop eating swedes.

First cannibal: I dont know what to make of my husband these days.

Second cannibal: How about a curry?

The cannibal king was having dinner when a servant came running in. “Your Majesty,” he said, “the slaves are revolting!““You dont have to tell me,” said the king. “Im trying to eat them. “Where did we get these slaves anyway? ““From the country next door,” replied the servant. “We must get a new butcher,” said the king. “Bring me Delia Smith.” “We cant, Your Majesty, shes still cooking for you.” “Well, bring her to me once shes crispy enough,” said the king.

Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and says, “Youknow, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesnt agree with me!”

A cannibal chief was just about to stew his latest victim for dinner when the man protested, “You cant eat me ? Im the manager!” “Well,” said the cannibal, “soon youll be a manager in chief.”