Camper Jokes

New camper: I thought you said this camp has no mosquitoes.

Old camper: Thats right. These mosquitoes come from the camp down the road!

#Camper Jokes

Two executives were deep in a Highland forest, on an adventure weekend arranged by their firm. Neither had any real map-reading skills and they became separated from the other members of their team. All they knew was that the final rendezvous point was a remote pub called, ‘The Wee Stum Inn.’

They trudged through the woods for hours, hopelessly lost until the came to what looked like a fork in the forestry trail. They couldn’t agree on which path to take. Eventually, they decided to take one path each. They shook hands and resolved that the last man back to the pub would pay for the drinks.

Four hours later, the man that chose the correct fork was sitting at the pub fireside, enjoying his pint, when his friend staggered in. He was cut, bleeding, battered and bruised as if he had been mugged by a rugby team.

Once the men in the pub got the man settled, he explained, “I must have gone around in circles for hours, until I heard the sound of an idling car engine. I headed toward the sound and found a car in a clearing at the end of what looked like a ‘lovers lane’. The car windows were all steamed up and I couldn’t see who was inside, but I could hear more than one voice. So I thought that I could ask for directions and I knocked on the driver’s window. Now, the man in the car must have been a complete psychopath, because as soon as I asked him, ‘How far is the Wee Stump Inn? ' he jumped out of the car and beat the crap out of me!

#Camper Jokes

At the end of camp, Julie won the prize for neatest trunk. Her mother was amazed.How did your trunk get so neat? she asked her messy daughter.It was easy, said Julie. I just never unpacked!

#Camper Jokes

On the last day of camp everyone was asked the same question: What is the best part of the camp?

One wise guy answered, Going home!

#Camper Jokes

Camper: Theres a leak over my bunk!

Counselor: Shh! Dont make such a fuss. Soon everyone will want one.

#Camper Jokes

Steve wrote home. Im glad you named me Steve, he said in the letter.Why? asked his mother in her reply.Because thats what all the kids at camp call me, he wrote back.

#Camper Jokes

A Counselor saw a camper sitting alone. Why dont you play with your friends? he asked.Because I only have one friend, the girl replied. And I hate her.

#Camper Jokes

Bob: Did you hear about the camper who was killed by a garter snake?

Betty: Thats impossible. A garter snake is not poisonous.

Bob: It doesnt have to be if it can make you jump off a cliff!

#Camper Jokes

Terry and Debbie were camping with their parents deep in the woods.How far is it to town? Terry wanted to know.Six miles, said Debbie.Thats too far to walk, Terry replied.Its not too bad, Debbie said. We can each walk three miles!

#Camper Jokes

The Counselor was greeting the new campers.

So you decided to come to camp, she said to one.

Nope, the camper answered. I was sent to camp!

#Camper Jokes

The Counselor was talking to the campers about safety. She said Dont climb any trees. If you fall down and break a leg, dont come running to me!

#Camper Jokes

The head Counselor gathered all the campers together. To get their attention, the Counselor called out, Order! Order!In a flash someone shouted out, Hamburger, coke and fries!

#Camper Jokes

Camper: Theres a leak over my bunk!

Counselor: Dont complain. It only leaks when it rains.

#Camper Jokes

John was hard at work with the broom in his familys tent.His mother came in and said, Thats nice. Are you sweeping out the tent? No, John answered. Im sweeping out the dirt.

#Camper Jokes

Sammy: My parents are sending me to camp.

Tammy: Why? Do you need a vacation?

Sammy: No. They do!

#Camper Jokes

Camper: Theres a leak over my bunk!

Counselor: Thats what we said in the camp ads. Running water in every cabin!

#Camper Jokes

Dawn was breaking over the camp grounds. Tony and Steve were lying in their tent.That was a terrible thunder and lightening storm last night, Tony announced.Steve turned to him and said, Why didnt you wake me up? You know I cant sleep during a storm!

#Camper Jokes

Megs mother was visiting her daughter at camp. How did you find the steak dinner? she asked.With a magnifying glass!

#Camper Jokes

Pierre was a camper from France. In his honour, Jenny sang a French song in the talent show. But she didnt sing very well.Does that make you homesick? someone asked Pierre.No, he answered. Just sick sick!

#Camper Jokes

The Rocky Mountains are very big and far apart. It takes a long time for an echo to bounce back off one of these mountains.One night, a camper in the Rockies went to sleep early. But before climbing into his sleeping bag he yelled, Time to get up.And eight hours later the echo came back and woke him up!

#Camper Jokes

One day the counsellor got a phone call. It was from a camper who had been at camp the summer before. The old camper said, I thought of camp yesterday.Why? the counsellor asked. Where were you? At the garbage dump! the old camper answered.

#Camper Jokes