Baby Jokes

What would you get if you crossed a new-born snake with a basketball? A bouncing baby boa.

#Baby Jokes

Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-sitter instead).

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What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers ? Infantry !

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What does a baby computer call his father? Data.

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How did the witch almost lose her baby? She didnt take it far enough into the woods.

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Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food? He wanted something to get his teeth into.

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Cry Baby - by Liza Weeping

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Fred: My mums having a new baby. Drew: Whats wrong with the old one?

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Knock KnockWhos there !Baby !Baby who ? Baby love, my baby love…. !

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My new baby is the image of his father. Never mind. just so long as hes healthy.

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What is a baby bee? A little humbug.

#Baby Jokes

Knock knock. Whos there? Underwear. Underwear who? Underwear my baby is tonight?

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What are baby witches called? Halloweenies.

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What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake? Stop crying and viper your nose.

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What is a baby: A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other.

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It cant go on! It cant go on! What cant go on? This babys vest ? its too small for me.

#Baby Jokes

Why did you drop the baby? Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see if he did.

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Knock knock. Whos there? Baby Owl. Baby Owl who? Baby Owl see you later, baby not.

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What do baby pythons play with? Rattle-snakes.

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How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake? It has a rattle.

#Baby Jokes

What was the policemans babys first words ? Hallo, Hallo, Hallo !

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Did you hear about Mrs Dimwits new baby? She thought babies should be pink, so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller.

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Mum, are the Smiths very poor people? I dont think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask? Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin

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What do you get if you cross a mountain and a baby ? A cry for Alp !

#Baby Jokes

Doctor, doctor, my babys swallowed a watch! Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time.

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Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water, please? But thats the tenth one Ive given you tonight! Yes, but the babys bedroom is still on fire.

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Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world? She didnt push the pram - she pulled it.

#Baby Jokes