Waiter jokes( Page: 1 of 11 )
A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets? "
The waiter replied, "Yes. Ever since we had that efficiency expert out; he determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."
The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly? "
The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same efficiency expert determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string to pull out my penis, go, and return to work. Having never touched myself, there is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time."
Wait a minute," said the diner, "how do you get your penis back in your pants? "
"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."
What will a monster eat in a restaurant? The waiter.
Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter: So laugh, sir.
Waiter, waiter! Theres a mosquito in my soup. Dont worry sir, mosquitoes have very small appetites !
I say waiter, theres a fly in my soup! Well throw him a doughnut - they make fantastic life belts!
Waiter, waiter, this lobsters only got one claw. It must have been in a fight, sir. Then bring me the winner.
"Waiter, waiter,theres a hand in my soup." "Thats not your soup, sir, thats your finger bowl."
Waiter, waiter! Theres a wasp in my dessert. So thats where they go to in the winter.
Customer: Do you have bacon and eggs on the menu:Waiter: No, we clean our menus regularly.
Customer: How come the Board of Health hasnt come in and closed you up? Waiter: Theyre afraid to eat here.