Time jokes

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08-21-2009
That boy is so dirty, the only time he washes his ears is when he eats watermelon.


08-21-2009
What time is it when an elephant sits on your car?   Time to get a new car.


08-21-2009
If twenty dogs run after one cat, what time is it?   Twenty after one.


08-21-2009
Customer: Id like a watch that tells time.Clerk: Dont you have a watch that tells time?  Customer: No, you have to look at it.


08-21-2009
For a weddin present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked him, "Watcha do with the money, son?  " "Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!" answered the boy. "Yew dumb ignoramous!" yelled his father. "Yew should av bought yoreself a rifle!" "A rifle?   What fer?  " "Supposn one day yew cum home and find some guy sleepin wid yore wife," explained the older redneck. "Watcha gonna do?   Wake him up and ask him what time it is?  "


08-21-2009
What are your two favourite times to party?   Daytime and night-time!


08-21-2009
I hope youre not one of those boys who sits and watches the school clock, said the principal to a new boy.No, Sir. Ive got a digital watch that bleeps at three-fifteen.


08-21-2009
The proud owner of an impressive new clock was showing it off to a friend. This clock, he said, will go for 14 days without winding. Really?   replied his friend, And how long will it go if you do wind it ?  


08-21-2009
Why did your sister shoot the alarm clock ?  Because she felt like killing time.


08-21-2009
Why did the girl sit on her watch?  She wanted to be on time.


Time jokes
Time-jokes
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