Mental health jokes( Page: 1 of 8 )
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his man-berries weighed five pounds.
All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.
Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong.
The head nurse replied, "We don't know what to do with this baby."
So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into mental institution."
"Why? " asked the head nurse.
"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts.
Patient: Why did you charge me a group rate? Psychiatrist: Youve got multiple personalities.
Did you hear about the auto mechanic who went to a psychiatrist and insisted on laying under the couch?
A woman entered a psychiatrists consulting room leadind a kangaroo."Im worried about my husband, doctor, " she said. "He keeps thinking hes a kangaroo! "
Doctor ! Doctor ! I think Im going crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my ear.Amazing ! so you have. How could that have happened ? I cant understand it either, because I planted cabbage !
What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats? You know you need a psychiatrist!
Why is a psychiatrist like a squirrel? Because they are both surrounded by nuts.
Whats the difference between a psychologist and a magician? A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!
Psychiatrist to his nurse: "Just say were very busy. Dont keep saying Its a madhouse."
A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says, "It seems I cant make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob? "
Mental health jokes