Mental health jokes

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11-29-2009
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his man-berries weighed five pounds.

All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.

Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong.

The head nurse replied, "We don't know what to do with this baby."

So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into mental institution."

"Why?  " asked the head nurse.

"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts.


11-21-2009
Patient: Why did you charge me a group rate?  Psychiatrist: Youve got multiple personalities.


11-21-2009
Did you hear about the auto mechanic who went to a psychiatrist and insisted on laying under the couch?  


11-21-2009
A woman entered a psychiatrists consulting room leadind a kangaroo."Im worried about my husband, doctor, " she said. "He keeps thinking hes a kangaroo! "


11-21-2009
Doctor ! Doctor ! I think Im going crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my ear.Amazing ! so you have. How could that have happened ?  I cant understand it either, because I planted cabbage !


11-21-2009
What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats?   You know you need a psychiatrist!


11-21-2009
Why is a psychiatrist like a squirrel?  Because they are both surrounded by nuts.


11-20-2009
Whats the difference between a psychologist and a magician?  A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!


11-20-2009
Psychiatrist to his nurse: "Just say were very busy. Dont keep saying Its a madhouse."


11-20-2009
A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says, "It seems I cant make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?  "


Mental health jokes
Mental-health-jokes
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