Journalist jokes

( Page: 1 of 3 )

11-13-2009
George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac river on foot.The Washington Post : "President Bush crosses the Potomac River".The Washington Time : "Bushs conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat".Mother Jones : "Bush cant swim".


11-13-2009
A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. "Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?  "To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I wont sleep with you tonight!"Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "Im sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, Im a journalist and Ive got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations."To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?  "


11-13-2009
A Soviet journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor.""There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to see someone else?  ""No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he says."But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?  ""Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."


11-13-2009
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm."This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didnt show up for two weeks. Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and Im depending on you. What will the weather be like?  "The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Dont know," he said. "Radio is broken."


11-13-2009
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!"Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, "Theres nothing in here about fifty people being swindled."The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, "Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!"


11-13-2009
How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?  "We just report the facts, we dont change them."


11-13-2009
How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?  "We just report the facts, we dont change them." Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.


11-13-2009
How many computer journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  Five. One to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint in her column that a completely new and updated bulb is coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is shipping with a virus.


11-13-2009
How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?  Only one, but first he has to rewire the entire building.


11-13-2009
A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. She asks: "You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that and what are you praying for?  "The old man replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth."The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?  " she asks.The old man looks at her sadly. "Like Im talking to a wall."


Journalist jokes
Journalist-jokes
FIRST   PREV ( Current Page: 1 of 3 )    NEXT   LAST