Halloween jokes

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11-30-2009
Things that sound dirty on Halloween but aren't.

She's a goblin!
I'd like to get a little something in the sack tonight.
Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
If you just lick it, it will last longer.
Let me see your big sack.
Can I eat your zagnuts?  
Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.
You scared me stiff!
And the dirtiest sounding but not-dirty Halloween saying is...
He's got candy spread out on the living room floor!


11-05-2009
What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party?   No one moved. They couldnt stir without her.


11-05-2009
Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?   Because he just came to pick up his little sister.


11-05-2009
Where do ghoulies go to on the day before Halloween party?   To the boo-ty parlour.


11-05-2009
Doctor, doctor, Im so ugly. What can I do about it?   Hire yourself out for Halloween parties.


11-05-2009
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?   Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.


11-05-2009
A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet over his head. "Are you here as a ghost?  " asked his friends. "No," he replied, "Im an unmade bed." Another boy wore a sheet over his head. "Are you an unmade bed?  " asked his friends. "No, Im an undercover agent," he replied.


11-05-2009
A Toledo man was admitted to the city hospital last night with severe burns after dunking for French fries at a Halloween party.


11-05-2009
One Halloween this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, with golden blond curly hair and the biggest blue eyes. She was dressed as an Angel, and was just delightful. The woman said, "what are you supposed to say sweetheart?  "The little girl looks up at the woman and says "Twick or Tweat!" The woman thinks this is just adorable, and she calls her husband to come to the door. The woman say to the child, "Go ahead honey say it just one more time." Once again the little Angel looks up and says, "Twick or Tweat!" The husband agrees with his wife, this little Angel is just the cutest thing. The woman picks an apple from the Treat Bowl, shines it up with her apron, and drops it into the little girls Treat Bag.The little Angel looks in her bag then looks up at the woman and says, "Thanks a lot lady, you just broke my f**king cookies!"


11-05-2009
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?   A: Tweets.


Halloween jokes
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