Farmer jokes( Page: 8 of 8 )
A jogger running down a country road is startled as a horse yells at him "Hey-come over hear buddy". The jogger is stunned but runs over to the fence where the horse is standing and asks"Were you talking to me"? The horse replies"Sure was, man Ive got a problem. I won the Kentucky Derby a few years ago and this farmer bought me and now all I do is pull a plow and Im sick of it. Why dont you run up to the house and offer him $5,000 to buy me. Ill make you some money cause I can still run." The jogger thought to himself,"boy a talking horse" Dollar signs started appearing in his head. So he runs to the house and the old farmer is sitting on the porch. The jogger tells the farmer"Hey man Ill give you $5,000 for that old broken down nag youve got in the field". The farmer replies"Son you cant believe anything that horse says-Hes never even been to Kentucky.
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back? "To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The ranchers prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldnt resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldnt have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went thr ough your ranch that morning. I didnt have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, Ill tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."