Ethnic jokes

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11-01-2009
Three guys are debating about which of their languages is the most pleasing to the ear. The Spaniard says, "Consider the word for butterfly. In Spanish, it is pronounced Mariposa, a beautiful sounding word."The French man says, "True, but Papillion, the French word for butterfly, is even more beautiful." "Whats wrong with Schmetterlink," asks the German?  


11-01-2009
An American, a Jew and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes.Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened."Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Jew and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return to the earth. So, of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here.""Thats amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?  " "Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Jew was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his!"


11-01-2009
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "Youre in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman, he says, "Youre in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "Youre in charge of supplies."The foreman then shrugs his beefy shoulders and says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a good dent in that pile of sand by the time I get back."A few hours later when the foreman returns, he sees that the pile of sand is still untouched.Pointing to the pile of sand, the forman says to the Italian, "Why didnt you sweep any of it?  "The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom. You tella the Chinesea guy he inna charge of a supplies, but hea disappeara, and I coulda no finda him!"Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and asks, " Didnt I tell you to shovel that sand?  "The Scotsman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did, laddie, but I couldna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinee in charge of supplies, but I couldna find him!"The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand, looking for the Chinese guy.Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells, "SUPPLIES!"


11-01-2009
A long time ago, Britain and France were at war.During one battle, The French captured an English major.Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him.The French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats?   Dont you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?  " In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood wont show and the men they are leading wont panic.And that is why from that day to now, all French Army officers wear brown pants.


11-01-2009
Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard."Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "Its Michael OGradys grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87." "Thats nothing," says Sean, "heres one named Patrick OToole. It says here that he was 95 when he died." Just then, Shamus yells out, "But heres a fella that died when he was 145 years old!""What was his name?  " asks Paddy. Shamus lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."


11-01-2009
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "Theyre naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and theyre being told this is paradise. They are Russian."


11-01-2009
What is the difference between Russian Optimist, Pessimist and Realist?  An Optimist learns German.A Pessimist learns Chinese.A Realist learns AK-47.


11-01-2009
An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (french fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed. Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?   demanded the Grand Emir. A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One, stammered the wretched Abdul, white man sit on well.


11-01-2009
Q: Whats the motto of the Polish Solidarity Union?  A: Every man for himself.


11-01-2009
Q: Whats delaying the Polish space program?  A: Development of a working match.


Ethnic jokes
Ethnic-jokes
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