Cowboy jokes

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10-18-2009
The swing doors of the Wild West saloon crashed open and in came Little Pete, black with fury. "All right!" he raged, "all right! Who did it?   What goldarned varmint painted my horse blue?  " The huge figure of Black Jake, notorious gunfighter and town baddie rose from a chair by the door. "It was me, shrimp," he drawled, bunching his gigantic fists, "what about it?  " "Oh, well, er," stammered little Pete wretchedly, "all I wanted to say was. . .when are you going to give it another coat?  "


10-18-2009
Who do zombie cowboys fight?   Deadskins.


10-18-2009
Swint and Fess, two Oklahoma cowboys, were resting their horses out on the range. "Whatd Emmaline give yew for yore birthday?  " asked Swint. "Pair of cufflinks," said Fess. "But I aint got no use for them. I cant even find anyplace to get my wrists pierced."


10-18-2009
Back in the Old West three Texas cowboys were about to be hung for cattle rustling. The lynch mob brought the three men to a tree right at the edge of the Rio Grande. The idea was that when each man had died, theyd cut the rope and hed drop into the river and drift out of sight They put the first cowboy in the noose, but he was so sweaty and greasy he slipped out, fell in the river and swam to freedom. They tied the noose around the second cowboys head. He, too, oozed out of the rope, dropped into the river and got away. As they dragged the third Texan to the scaffold, he resisted, "Please! Would yawl tighten that noose a little bit?   I cant swim!"


10-18-2009
Q: Why cant the bankrupt cowboy complain?  A: He has got no beef.


10-18-2009
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but youre only allowed one seat." The cowboy groaned but didnt budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you dont get up from there, Im going to have to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, whats youre name?  " "Sam," the cowboy moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?  " With pain in his voice Sam replied.... "The balcony."


10-18-2009
Three cowboys of the world are sitting around camp talking about how tough they were and the tales kept getting bigger and bigger. The cowboy from Australia says, "I wrestled a 200 pound crocodile and may it cry like a baby." The Cowboy from Brazil shakes his head and says, "I killed a 400 pound steer with my bare hands." The Cowboy from Texas just smiled and kept stirring the campfire with his leg.


10-18-2009
The eastern lady who was all ready to take a horseback ride said to the cowboy, "Can you get me a nice gentle pony?  " "Shore," said the cowboy. "What kind of a saddle do you want, English or western?  " "Whats the difference?  " asked the lady. "The western saddle has a horn on it," said the cowboy. "If the traffic is so thick here in the mountains that I need a horn on my saddle, I dont believe I want to ride."


10-18-2009
Why did the cowboy ride his horse?  Because the horse was too heavy to carry.


10-18-2009
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?  Bronchitis (bronc-itis).


Cowboy jokes
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