Cowboy jokes

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A pissed off cowboy walked into the bar and slammed his fist on the bar. "Ok," he shouted, "who's the SOB that painted my horse's balls red?  "

At the other end, a huge biker stood up, ripped the end of the bar out of the floor and slammed it back down. "I did, cowboy," he said. "What have you got to say about that?  "

"Oh," said the cowboy. "I just thought I'd let you know...he's ready for his second coat."

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?  "

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?  " "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?  "

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever." "How can you be so sure?  " the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."


A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. So when he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.

He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head and fired a shot into the ceiling. "WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS?  " he yelled. No one answered. "ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA' BEER, AND IF MY HOSS AIN'T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINISH, I'M GONN DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS! AND I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Sa partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?  " The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home.

Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. "When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral," Joe began. "You mean the parking lot," interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. "I walked up the trail to the door," Joe continued. "The sidewalk to the door," Charlie corrected him. "Inside the door, I was met by this dude," Joe went on. "That would be the usher," Charlie explained. "Well, the usher led me down the chute," Joe said. "You mean the aisle," Charlie said. "Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there," Joe continued. "Pew," Charlie retorted. "Yeah," recalled Joe. "Thats what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her."

Who do zombie cowboys fight?   Deadskins.

What did the cowboy maggot say when he went into the saloon bar?   Gimme a slug of whiskey.

Who is in cowboy films and is always broke?   Skint Eastwood.

What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?   Hoppalong Cassidy.

A police officer saw a man dressed as a cowboy in the street, complete with huge stetson hat, spurs, and six shooters."Excuse me, sir," said the police officer, "who are you?  ""My names Tex, officer," said the cowboy." eh?  " said the police officer, "Are you from Texas?  " "Nope, Louisiana." "Louisiana?   So why are you called Tex?  " "Dont want to be called Louise, do I .

Visitor: Wow, you have a lot of flies buzzing round your horses and cows. Do you ever shoo them?   Cowboy: No we just let them go barefoot.

Cowboy jokes
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