Tell me why jokes

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11-28-2009
Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but....

2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken
- Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia.
2008 - Chinese year of the Horse
- Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing.
2009 - Chinese year of the Pig
- Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs around the globe.

Has any one else noticed this?   It gets worse........ next year......

2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?  


11-28-2009
Directions on toilet paper?  ?  ?  ?  ?  
What's dumber than that?   Reading them.
Even dumber?   Reading them and learning something.
Dumbest of all?  
Reading them and having to correct something you've been doing wrong.


11-27-2009
a.. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?  
b.. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money to cover it?  
c.. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?  
d.. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?  
e.. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection
f.. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?  
g.. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?  
h.. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?  
i.. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?  
j.. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use th bubbles are always white?  
k.. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?  
l.. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hope that something new to eat will have materialized?  
m.. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put i down to give the vacuum one more chance?  
o.. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?  


04-29-2009
Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?  


04-29-2009
Do vampires get AIDS?  


04-29-2009
Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?  


04-29-2009
Does killing time damage eternity?  


04-29-2009
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?  


04-29-2009
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?  


04-29-2009
What Mrs. Dumpty gave Humpty?  


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