Blind jokes

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07-09-2009
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind. The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from hea d to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was. The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "Youve got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!" The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snakes body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, youre scaly, youre slimy, youve got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and youve got a forked tongue. I think youre a lawyer!"


07-09-2009
A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. "There is a blind man to see you," she says. "Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if Im in the shower. Send him in."The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: "Thats nice and all, maam, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?  


07-09-2009
The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. He turned very quickly, caught the bull by the horns and threw it to the ground with a bump that left it breathless. "Aidan," said the neighbor, "I never knew you were so strong." "Faith, and if I could have got that fella off the handlebars of the bicycle Id have thrashed him properly."


07-09-2009
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didnt move. Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didnt respond. Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch. The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. "Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldnt even try!"


07-09-2009
Q. How did a blind woman drive herself crazy?  A. Trying to read a stucco wall.


07-09-2009
Q. How did a blind girl burn her fingers?  A. Reading the waffle iron


07-09-2009
Q: How did a blind man get poke marks on his face?  A: Learning to eat with a fork.


07-09-2009
Q: What did a blind boys parents do to punish him?   A: Rearranged the furniture


07-09-2009
Q: How did a blind man meet his wife?  A: On a blind date!


07-09-2009
Q: Why was a blind mans leg wet?  A: Her dog was blind too.


Blind jokes
Blind-jokes
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