Bed jokes

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06-12-2009
Doctor, doctor, Im having difficulty sleeping. Doctor: Well maybe its your bed. Oh, Im all right at night, its in the day I have problems.


06-12-2009
Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great, gooey, bug-eyed monsters playing tiddley winks under my bed. What shall I do?   Hide the tiddley winks.


06-12-2009
Witch: Doctor, doctor, I dont feel well. Doctor: Dont worry, youll just have to go to bed for a spell.


06-12-2009
The hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered bed and board, but it was impossible to say which was the bed and which was the board.


06-12-2009
A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. "Whats wrong?  " asked his mother. "Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?  " he sobbed. "In a way they do," said his mother. "And when they die so they turn back to dust?  " "Yes, they do." The little boy began to cry again. "Well, under my bed theres someone either coming or going."


06-12-2009
Two friends who lived in the town were chatting. "Ive just bought a pig," said the first. "But where will you keep it?  " said the second. "Your yards much too small for a pig!" "Im going to keep it under my bed," replied his friend. "But what about the smell?  " "Hell soon get used to that."


06-12-2009
When Mr Maxwells wife left him, he couldnt sleep. Why was that?   She had taken the bed.


06-12-2009
Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?   He wrote sheet music.


06-12-2009
I dont think my Mom knows much about children. Why do you say that?   Because she always puts me to bed when Im wide awake, and gets me up when Im sleepy!


06-12-2009
I was once in a play called Breakfast In Bed. Did you have a big role?  No, just toast and marmalade.


Bed jokes
Bed-jokes
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