Beauty jokes

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06-12-2009
Who won the Monster Beauty Contest?   No one.


06-12-2009
First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch: Oh, what did you have done?   First witch: Nothing, I was just going in for an estimate.


06-12-2009
Mrs Saggy: Mrs Wrinkly tried to have a facelift last week. Mrs Baggy: Tried to?   Mrs Saggy: Yes, they couldnt find a crane strong enough to lift her face!


06-12-2009
They say Margaret is a raving beauty. You mean shes escaped from the funny farm?  


06-12-2009
First witch: My beauty is timeless. Second witch: Yes, it could stop a clock.


06-12-2009
A witch went into a beauty parlor and asked the assistant how much it would cost to make her look like a film star. "Nothing," replied the assistant. "Nothing?  " she asked, "but how can I look like a film star?  " "Havent you seen a film called The Creature from the Black Lagoon?  " replied the assistant.


06-12-2009
A monster went to the doctor with a branch growing out of his head."Hmmm," said the doctor. "Ive no idea what it is." The next week the branch was covered in leaves and blossom. "Im stumped," said the doctor, "but you can try taking these pills." When the monster came back a month later the branch had grown into a tree, and just a few weeks later he developed a small pond, surrounded by trees and bushes, all of them on top of his head. "Ah!" said the doctor, "I know what it is. Youve got a beauty spot."


06-12-2009
Ive just come back from the beauty parlour. Pity it was closed!


06-12-2009
Where is everyone beautiful?  In the dark.


06-12-2009
Fred keeps telling me that hes going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh, what a shame! And youve been engaged for such a long time!


Beauty jokes
Beauty-jokes
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