Vampire jokes( Page: 1 of 10 )
One night a beautiful female vampire rushed into a crypt, her lovely face all covered in blood and flung herself into her coffin and slammed down the lid with a snarl of rage. Pretty soon all the other vampires smelt the blood and began hassling her about where she'd got it. She told them to piss off and let her get some sleep, but they persisted until she finally gave in. "OK, follow me, she said, and spreading out her cloak, flew out of the crypt with dozen other vampires behind her.
Down through a valley they swept, across a river and into a huge city. Finally she slowed down and the other vampires milled excitedly around her, their tongues hanging out for blood.
"Do you see that massive, great lamppost over there? " she asked.
"YES, YES,YES!!!!" the bloodsuckers all screamed in a feeding frenzy.
"Good!" said the first vampire, "Because I didn't!
What happened to the two mad vampires? They both went a little batty.
What do vampires cross the sea in? Blood vessels.
What do vampire footballers have at half-time? Blood oranges.
Why did the vampire take up acting? It was in his blood.
Who plays center forward for the vampire football team? The ghoulscorer.
Which vampire ate the three bears porridge? Ghouldilocks.
Which vampire tried to eat James Bond? Ghouldfinger.
When do vampires bite you? On Wincedays.
Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing? He could really get into the vaultz.